Daily Archives: April 1, 2010


Reshaping my memories

Ida Mae (Lockhart) Walker8/30/1935 – 4/1/1994 Today is rarely a day of fun for me.  I usually wake up, frazzled per usual and rushing to get on my way.  Then, when I’m finally settling into my routine, I realize what date it is. April 1.  It’s never April Fool’s Day.  Just the first day of the fourth month. Since 1994, it’s been the day that makes me conscious of the void in my life that I’ve never been able to fill.  My grandmother died April 1, 1994. She was the first significant person that I lost … to this day, only one other person’s death has impacted me so strongly.  I’m at the point now where I don’t cry so much when I think about her. I haven’t cried today, yet.  I’m sure that will change when I call my mom, though. That’s neither here nor there.  I want to change this day so much. I want to change what it means to me.  I guess it’s that whole “celebrate her life” idea, but I know that’s not really right.  I wouldn’t say she had a rough life, but it wasn’t peaches and sunshine.  Her experiences were never explicitly discussed, probably […]


Biochemistry and law school

I do OK for myself, but I know I'm not living up to my potential. I'm definitely the kind of person who is good at things I don't value, but not good in the things I do.  Case in point, my undergrad and grad school paths. When I was in high school, it was all but understood that I was going to law school. I was a standout on the mock trial team, watched ALL those legal shows (forensic and courtroom).  Got into my top choice school, but didn't go.  (Blog for another day … *still* not over it). But the reason that was my top choice school was because it was going to prepare me for law school.  The problem? While the expectation was there, the support wasn't.  I'll rephrase that, because there were tons of people who believed in my ability to succeed, but there wasn't enough follow through to push me to do so.  How do I know? Because I wasn't a biochem major, like I said I would be. I had decided sometime after being told I'd be at the state school that I'd forego pre-law as a major and pursue forensic pathology. How'd I just go […]