Daily Archives: January 24, 2011

If it’s not them, it must be me, right? 1

I was reading someone’s blog and they said What I’m upset about is that this day should matter to someone else just as much as it does to me. … I’m feeling disappointed in the people around me, but it’s displaced anger. I’m not mad at them. This cross isn’t theirs to bear. I wish they were a little more supportive and a little more intuitive about how I might be feeling, but they’re all doing the best they know how to do. It immediately made me think of how I feel about Dave’s death and how sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who still grieves.  It makes me question myself, wondering if there’s something wrong with me that I can’t seem to get past it.  And it often borders on resentment. I resent that they act like they don’t miss him, that they don’t feel like his death was unfair, that he’s just a bygone memory. And I believe they all have those feelings, but … are mine more intense? Maybe I just let mine bubble to the surface more.