Life has a crazy way of making you periodically take stock in the relationships you toil over, struggling to maintain. I’m notoriously bad at fighting to maintain what I consider to be faulty relationships. I’m quick to let people in, but am even quicker to let them go. Sometimes it’s with a little foot-dragging on my part, but normally, it’s quick and silent. I allow myself to fade to black, being long gone before they ever realize I was contemplating an exit.
I keep running into this issue, not always for myself, but for the people around me as well. It seems like every time I turn around, someone has a relationship that’s at a crossroads. Do you fight for it, knowing that drama, hurt, and frustration will be ever-present? Or do you let go, knowing that while the initial pain of loss will subside, when the dust settles, you may be alone? Well, more often than not, I am the little devil in an ear, saying “let it go, it’s not worth the trouble!”
What’s interesting to me is that the cutoff is the easy part. It’s the backlash that’s frustrating. I deal with this a LOT, especially with former friends and family (which is probably everyone). People facilitate tumultous relationships, then wonder why you remove yourself from their presence. I want to scream at them “YOU MADE ME DO THIS!” but I know they’d never get it. I tend to think they’re completely oblivious to their actions and how they can affect others. And while I can’t control their actions, I can certainly control my reactions to them. Frankly speaking, life is hectic and stressful enough as it is without throwing in unnecessary relationship (platonic or romantic) contention into the mix. Instead of dealing with said drama, I find it more conducive to my sanity to just eliminate the situation before it becomes one. The best way for me is to fall back, like completely (c). No personal time, emails, phone calls, texts, BBMs, tweets, Facebook chats, etc. *poof*
Unfortunately, my approach to solving the problems in my life is offensive to some./sarcasm I’ve been contacted on more than a few instances about me dropping off the face of someone’s Earth (like how I phrased that?), with them wondering what happened. When I let them know that the situation was becoming more stressful for me to deal with than I felt was warranted and that I chose to make a no-fuss exit, some people actually let me know in so many words that I was in the wrong. For what? Not indulging a situation that I felt was a waste of my time? Or for being passive aggressive about it? Eh, I’ll own up to both but I do so with no apologies.
At the end of the day, people need to let go of their entitlement to another’s time, attention, energy, etc. in the face of conflict. Ownership of their role needs to happen, with acceptance that the other person has the free will to proceed as they see fit. If that means “get out of my life,” so be it.