I loved my friend. He went away from me. There’s nothing more to say. The poem ends Soft as it began. I loved my friend. ~”Poem” by Langston Hughes Yesterday, David Andrew Ellis would have been 27 years old. Who knows what else he’d have going on in his life, or if we’d even still be a part of each other’s post-college lives. I’d like to think so, but five years ago, I would’ve also thought he’d still be alive. This year we celebrated his birthday quietly, with the traditional dinner with the usual suspects, minus a few. I can’t lie; it was great to see everyone again. We keep up with each other superficially on twitter, blogs, facebook, etc., but nothing compares to getting the crew back together in our old stomping grounds.
This should be interesting. My mind runs a mile a minute, so narrowing down the 7 things I think about a lot and want to include here will be a bit of a task. Here goes nothing: Procreation – I think about having another kid often – daily, to be honest. But it’s not in the “I absolutely want to have another child” way. It’s in the “I think another child, but I’m not sure I’m up for it” way. Some days I know for certain I want to experience pregnancy, birth and “new” motherhood again, but other days I’m ready to get my tubes tied! My career – I think about what I’ll be doing in the future — who I’ll be working with, what I’ll be doing, etc. I have a general idea of what I’m interested in, but whether life works it out that way remains to be seen. COM’s future – I think this is completely natural. What parent doesn’t think about their child’s future? I let my mind wander often about what her personality will be like, what she’ll like doing, and who she’ll grow up to be. I just want her to be happy, […]
Back again for another exciting installment. I’ve never really paid much attention to what makes me *swoon* … I’m usually too caught up in the newness to really think about it in the moment. I’ve reflected a bit on who I’ve dated and what did/didn’t work out, and here’s what I’ve come up with. Take notes! Indulge my nerdy side – I’m captain nerd. I’m an absolute bibliophile. I’m that person who buys books at the campus book store, even when they’re not for my class. Don’t judge me. Anyway, I need a guy who indulges my desire to spend hours on end in museums, watching the History Channel or Nat-Geo, scouring Wikipedia and, most importantly, playing Jeopardy. He doesn’t have to really care, be good or anything. Just do that with me. Make me laugh – I’m pretty sure everyone says this, but it’s a must-have for me. When I think of my past relationships, the only ones that were successful involved a guy with a sense of humor like mine. Always a more than a little sarcastic, but always on time. A guy who makes me laugh makes me fall for him, head over heels. That doesn’t always […]
Ooh, I actually managed to post two days in a row. Go me. Anyway, on to the point: I’m a paranoid person. Irrationally so, in fact. I catastrophize everything in my life, which is partly to blame for my indecisiveness. Before I make any life decisions, I always think of how it can go wrong. Why? Because I’m convinced I have the worst luck ever. Murphy’s Law is my life. So to me, it makes sense to weigh the risks of the bad before making any leap. I have an unnatural fear of sewer drains. I’ve never had a bad experience with one, but blame it on #1. There’s a parking spot in my apartment complex that I refuse to park in because there’s a sewer drain behind it. I’m so paranoid that my cell phone, keys, wallet, etc. will fall down into and be lost forever, forever, forever (shoutout to The Sandlot). I’m also kind of afraid of the dark. Perhaps it’s not so much the dark so much as it is what the dark can hide. So yeah, I don’t dig having to walk around outside after dark by myself. Nor do I like walking around my home […]
I always have this strange love/hate relationship with old music. On one hand, I absolutely LOVE old songs because they remind me of the past and call forth long-forgotten memories. On the other hand, they force me to remember how much life has changed, and not always in a good way. Most of the time, the songs bring on this warm, fuzzy feeling that reminds me of being young. I think about the times when the most serious thought I had was how I could con my mom into letting me stay up past my bedtime to watch New York Undercover (never worked) or what field trip was next in class. Everything was so carefree and innocent. Even if I had a somewhat clouded view of reality behind my veil of youth, I created these memories that, for the most part, are positive. After listening to music initially, the reality of life sets in. That I'm not young and carefree anymore, and certainly not as innocent. I don't even mean that in a completely negative way. It's a fact of life that as you age and experience life, not everything will work in your favor. So now when I hear […]