I’ve been mulling this post over in my head for a while. I’ve sat back and observed, hoping the obvious would become apparent, but … that hasn’t been the case, and it worries me. I have a wide range of friends, both male and female, with varying personal backgrounds, educational attainments, career paths, dating situations, etc. One issue I’ve seen come up consistently among them is the idea of a potential partner “bringing something to the table.” Admittedly, I see this more among my female friends than male. The argument is usually something along the lines of them highlighting their attributes on paper and claiming a potential partner should either match or exceed them. I say on paper not to be facetious, but because the qualities are usually the things that are concrete, such as a college degree, well-paying job, home-ownership – things that indicate independence and financial stability. I don’t argue that these are factors that one shouldn’t want, if that’s what’s important to you.
My new neighbors are terrible. I don’t know if they’re married, dating, cohabitating, or … what. All I know is there is one man, one woman, and a ridiculous amount of arguing. While on one hand I get a handful of laughs at the random comments I hear during their fights (“The devil is a liar,” “you’re a cheater and a user,” and “you’re going to pay for every wicked thing you’ve done.”), I’m also really sad for them. They don’t seem to like each other, though I could see how they might love each other. Whatever the case, they are in a really bad place, and I can’t figure what is keeping them coming back every day.
In honor of Happy Black Girl Day, I’m going to write about some of the things going well in my life right now. I got my hair straigthened. I’ve been natural for about five years, and I love my natural, napppy, kinky, ethnic — WHATEVER you want to call it — hair. But, I miss having my hair straight sometimes. I miss being able to just oil and wrap it at night and run a quick comb through it in the morning. Hell, I love just being able to throw it into a ponytail if I want. Natural hair, at least mine, doesn’t always afford that easily. So, this morning I went to D’Juana’s to get my hair done. Such a pampering experience. It made me really miss when I stayed in the salon every other Friday, 4pm with Miss Diane to get my press n curl. Shoot, I might even be tempted to go back, if she weren’t so deep in D.C. Nonetheless, I enjoyed getting my blowout, and now I have people back on their toes because they rarely recognize me when I switch my hair up (I really only wear three styles – bush, wrap, or kinky […]
Aow! The fun stuff. I’m sure people are dying to know what grinds my gears … in a good way. Smart guys – I love guys who are smart, know they’re smart an try to get smarter. I think I like it so much because I can learn from them. This isn’t to say I need them to have beaucoup degrees or anything like that (though it doesn’t hurt); I just want them to love learning and knowing as much as I do. Guys into music – Ooh that’s so hot! It just works out so much better when the guy I’m dating loves and appreciates music as much as I do. It doesn’t even have to be the same taste, either. I’m open to all music, and I’d hope he is, too. Funny guys – there’s nothing better than a guy who’s funny. Frankly speaking, I’m easily distracted, so I can be angry as hell but if he can make me laugh he’s won the battle. And he has to be off-the-cuff funny — make light of life and the ridiculous situations and sights it puts in your path. Yep, that’s it.
This is an unfair post because nearly everything turns me off LOL. But seriously, here are the deal breakers: Convictions – there’s nothing attractive about a criminal record, period. I realize people make mistakes or have to learn certain lessons, but there’s a line I won’t cross – that’s it. Ignorance – There are few things more annoying to me than someone who doesn’t or has no interest in thinking critically about the world. This isn’t to say I want someone who always critiques everything. But I do want someone who is capable of seeing past the obvious to understand what things mean, what their impacts are, and the like. Short men – This is probably my only physical hang-up in dating. I refuse to date someone shorter than me. The perfect height to me is somewhere between 5’10 and 6’4″. Any taller than that is kinda creepy to me. Multiple kids – I’m fairly sure I don’t have it in me to be a step-mom, but I also acknowledge that I already have a kid so I’m slightly more amenable to consider dating a guy with a kid. But more than one? Either you’re reckless with your sex or […]