In honor of Happy Black Girl Day, I’m going to write about some of the things going well in my life right now. I got my hair straigthened. I’ve been natural for about five years, and I love my natural, napppy, kinky, ethnic — WHATEVER you want to call it — hair. But, I miss having my hair straight sometimes. I miss being able to just oil and wrap it at night and run a quick comb through it in the morning. Hell, I love just being able to throw it into a ponytail if I want. Natural hair, at least mine, doesn’t always afford that easily. So, this morning I went to D’Juana’s to get my hair done. Such a pampering experience. It made me really miss when I stayed in the salon every other Friday, 4pm with Miss Diane to get my press n curl. Shoot, I might even be tempted to go back, if she weren’t so deep in D.C. Nonetheless, I enjoyed getting my blowout, and now I have people back on their toes because they rarely recognize me when I switch my hair up (I really only wear three styles – bush, wrap, or kinky […]
This is neither the correct “Day 10” (about a week late) nor my most guarded secret. But it is something I grapple with every day. I’m 26 and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I enjoy a lot of things, but I’ve always felt that I’m not that great at the things I really love. Somehow, I’m fantastic at the things I get no enjoyoment from, like being a journalist. I have two BAs that I don’t think I really “use” because I don’t have the heart to be a reporter and have too many personal conflicts with basic principles of the field. So now I’m about to finish grad school and when people ask me what I want to do … I’m not really sure. The only thing I really know is that I want to work with students and I want to help people. They’re amazing to be around, and I really want to help them navigate the college environment, red tape and all. I wish I had figured this out 5 years ago, but … such is life.
This should be interesting. My mind runs a mile a minute, so narrowing down the 7 things I think about a lot and want to include here will be a bit of a task. Here goes nothing: Procreation – I think about having another kid often – daily, to be honest. But it’s not in the “I absolutely want to have another child” way. It’s in the “I think another child, but I’m not sure I’m up for it” way. Some days I know for certain I want to experience pregnancy, birth and “new” motherhood again, but other days I’m ready to get my tubes tied! My career – I think about what I’ll be doing in the future — who I’ll be working with, what I’ll be doing, etc. I have a general idea of what I’m interested in, but whether life works it out that way remains to be seen. COM’s future – I think this is completely natural. What parent doesn’t think about their child’s future? I let my mind wander often about what her personality will be like, what she’ll like doing, and who she’ll grow up to be. I just want her to be happy, […]
Sometimes I sit back and laugh to myself when people tell me how easy I make it look. But only after I have the urge to cry. I get that I make things look easy. Not in a conceited way, but in a “I refuse to let you see how hard I struggle” kind of way. Suffer in silence, I suppose. Honestly, it’s closer to “no one really cares how hard you struggle. STFU and get the job done.” I say that because that’s how I feel toward most people. What’s ironic is that it’s in direct contradiction to the philosophy with which I approach things — it’s not about the destination, but about the journey. Who cares what you do, as long as you learned something meaningful by doing it. I find it incredibly frustrating when people say I make it look easy because I think it belittles the work I put in. Because I don’t make a fuss about it on a normal basis, I get sideways looks when I do, like I don’t have the right to complain because I have it easy. No, sir, I promise you I don’t. I think people see that I go […]
"The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side." ~James A. Baldwin I didn't always want to pursue the field of education, at least not explicitly. I've always had a very strong belief in formal education, with a respect that acknowledged a bulk of one's education is informal. I'll never forget the day I realized I wanted to be in the trenches of education, though. I was walking through the Tunnel of Oppression on campus my junior year of college. There was an exhibit that focused on education, particularly parity. It was a simple, interactive piece. Simply pick up the composition book and write down the books you read by black authors in high school as part of the instructional curriculum. o_0 I could rattle them off fairly easily: Their Eyes Were Watching God junior year, Invisible Man senior year. I was livid. I couldn't believe that I lived in a predominately black county, attended an overwhelmingly black high school, and had only read TWO books by black authors? What is that shit about? Right then, I knew that no matter what career I pursued, it had […]